Miscellenea...

Rather than taking the effort to link the following into a coherent stream of thought, I am resorting to the lazy man's tool of choice - bullet points:

- I am currently rocking a hairstyle that can be described as "billowing, non-threatening 80s style."

- In the early days of the internet, I remember the difficulties in searching for specialty porn. This was the early 1990s, pre-Google, and finding porn was like wading through a darkened room while using your penis as a divining rod. After much effort (and a disastrous first encounter with gay porn), I managed to find a website called the iconophile (which, amazingly, appears to still be in business) that offered a broad assortment of tastefully nude photos of lesser celebrities. This was a good find if you ever wanted to see the oldest daughter on "Family Matters" naked (For the record, I was neutral-to-negative on this). Anyway, the funniest part for the site was the fact that the guys running it really seemed to care about the actresses they profiled. With each actresses' nude gallery, they would include a painstaking analysis of how each obscure actress could become more famous. Inevitably, these analyses demanded that the iffy star IMMEDIATELY do a nude film if they hadn't done so already, or MORE nude films if they'd already broken the seal. While this was fairly pointless typographical masturbation, it was just nice to see that the horny buggers who made the site cared enough about naked women to spew out this amateur bullshit commentary. On a related note, as an early adopter, I managed to learn about the "clear history" function on the browser before anyone busted me. My father, sadly, was not so lucky. When I confronted him (I wasn't mature enough to realize this was the natural order of the universe) he made a mea culpa plea, probably toeing the line of being a good role model.

"You know I don't do stuff like this normally," he said to me.

"Dad, you don't understand," I said, "I'm disappointed of you for checking out porn online. I'm just disappointed the best URL you could think of was boobs.com."

"What's a URL?" dad asked.

- Finally, my motivational guru line, thought up while running: "Mentally, you're only as strong as you decided to be." Can't decide if this is profound or incredibly corny.